music, media & other random musings

You Know You're Old When...

You know you're old when people don't try to sell you drugs anymore. This post could have just as well been titled "One Of The Stupidest Things I Did On My Summer Vacation." But too many words. 

Most, many of my friends have outgrown smoking the marijuana - but I have not. I still like it, still enjoy it, still buy it. It's not an everyday thing. And can go for a long while without. But admittedly when I have it around, it's used very regularly... self control has never been one of my strong suits. 

While I was in Istanbul, the desire emerged - the nagile, the coffee, the hanging out... I remember mentioning my interest to a friend who I was IMing with at the time - one who has a mutual prediliction, who said, "I'm certain there's plenty there." I thought, I'm sure he's right... But the crew I fell into didn't indulge, and I just didn't seek it out. And I saw Midnight Express...

I'm actually sure there was plenty everywhere I went. But it never found me (except that wee joint I shared in Cappadocia, which somehow doesn't count.) Here in Laos, in Luang Prabang, Yohann, one of the French guys I hung out with, said he had been asked to buy drugs all the while he's been traveling - Thailand, Laos. He claimed it is because he smokes cigarettes. Maybe that's part of it, but not the whole. He actually looks somewhat conservative, clean-cut, but in a cool, mod kind of way. But the real story is that he's young, 26. And it hit me - I'm old. This thought has actually occurred to me before (a topic my friend Jason thinks I'm obsessed with, which may be true). But never thought about it in this context.

When I was young(er) and traveled alot for work/production - and even just walking in NYC - I was offered all the time, it always found me. I did smoke the cigarettes back then... but again, that was just part of the picture. It was Youth. While traveling, it just never occurred to me that the reason weed wasn't obviously available to me, wherever I went was, because I hadn't been offered it - until Yohann brought it up. 

So, here we are at about 11:30, walking out of the closing bar (early town), and Yohann nods in the direction of a guy and tells me he had just asked if he was interested. Being unthinking, and relatively buzzed on Laos whiskey - and wanting to act as young as I feel - I turned to the guy and asked what he had. We walked to his car - right there in front of the bar - and he showed me his offerings, 100,000 kips (about 12 bucks) for a bag that didn't smell all that enticing. I started negotiating, as one does, then those bubble thoughts above my head appeared..  Me smoking a joint on my veranda with my beautiful view (lovely thought), the scent wafting down to the guys who run the place... and then the very clear image of me locked in a Laos jail for 20 years. I looked at the guy, said can't do it and got out of the car. Standing there again with my friends, he came up and offered me the bag at a considerably lower price.. naturally. 

I've been told that they don't really care about this in Laos - smoking a joint. In Vang Vien, they serve mushroom laced milkshakes in all the coffee joints. But I didn't want to take the chance. That's the thing about age... it makes you wiser. 

Nong Khiau

After a bit of debating I decided to make the supposedly 4 hour trek via mini-bus up to Nong Khiau. (Spelled in a variety of different ways - Kiau, Khiaw, etc). As it turned out, it was only 2.5 hours, but 4 if you count all the time it took to gather everyone up and actually get on our way. But it went by quickly as I chatted away with Colin, a sweet Irish kid from Philly, recently graduated from college doing the solo backpack thing.  

The "books" tell you that the place doesn't look all that impressive when you drive into the dusty, small town. And they were right. But once you cross over the Nam Ou bridge into Nong Kiaow, the beauty is quite evident. Stunning. The German guys I met in Luang Prabang, Sebastian and Paule, suggested I stay at Riverside, which I did. It reminded me of a larger version of The Jungle Club in Samui. Essentially a bamboo hut with plumbing.. mostly. And as you can guess, based on the name, right on the river.

What I imagined and found out for myself - Laos is for the outdoorsman - trekkers, kayakers, eco-tourists. And I don't fit in that category. Other than action activities, there isn't anything really to do. And it was HOTTER THAN HELL between 2-5 when the sun was BLAZING - with nowhere to get relief. Electricity is iffy, so A/C is a definite no. I'd pretty much decided after a few hours there, when my clothes were already dripping with sweat - literally - that I'd stay the one night. Scary, but Luang Prabang actually seemed like a comfort zone from this town. 

I'm glad I went though. In the morning, while it was still gray and cool (I use that term loosely here), I hiked up to the Pha Tok caves, where the Laotians took refuse when America bombed the shit out of their country. I walked up the steep steps, but when two bats flew out, decided not to go inside... I think it was a good call.  

They're not all that into schedules here, nor providing information. Bus was to leave at 2pm. Me and a couple from Australia sat in the shade, trying to keep as cool as possible before they decided it was time to leave - around 3:30, maybe 4. Then we had some stops to pick up locals, drop off locals. That lack of commiunication is definitely to their advantage. But without someone to chat with, in addition to taking a little snooze, I got a real chance to stare out that window - and I did, in awe and wonder. Beautiful, beautiful landscape. Some truly jaw-dropping vistas, all set against miles and miles of very poor villages, one after the other. It's another world. 

Good Days & Elephants...

One of those lovely unplanned days...  

Started my morning with an alarm clock, which is the first for me in a very long while. After a little breakfast and internet access (thankfully!), I walked over to Big Brothers Mouse - an organization dedicated to publishing books in Laotian, primarily for children, to get kids excited and interested in reading for fun. Every morning from 9-11am they offer kids/young adults the opportunity to improve their English skills by talking and reading with English speaking adults. This morning I was one of them. The kids were incredibly grateful and enthusiastic, which of course made the experience rewarding and worthwhile. In my last post I went on a stream of consciousness rant about that insane woman - without much editing. But I think the thing that distubed me most, (apparently still affected by it/her) and something I didn't articulate well, was her perspective that westerners 'give' only to assuage their collective guilt, in order to feel good about themselves. Maybe she affected me so much because I thought perhaps there was a glimmer of truth in the insanities she espoused? All I know is this - what I felt walking out of there this morning wasn't that at all. It's wasn't about me, or me feeling good about myself. It was me feeling good that these kids got something out of it. That they wanted to learn, to get that "gold star" for achievement and/or effort, to have people care and maybe to have fun - and I think I helped them do that. God I hated that woman!!!

(One interesting observation... determining someones age here is very difficult. The boys that i assumed were maybe 10 or 11 were 14 and 15, girls I thought were 8 or 9, were actually 10 or 11. I discussed this my friends (below) and they found the same thing... lots of young - and old - here, not much in the way of middle age. We couldn't figure out if it is nutritrion, genetics... or what. Very curious... ) 

As the constant search for a decent, consistent internet connection is part of the experience here (for  many - not just me), I found myself back at the cafe I was at the morning before, where I'd met my German friends - whose names I now know to be Sebastian and Paule. (Crap picture, but it's all I managed to get.) They had told me they got the best connection in town there, so that's where I went. Not surprisingly (although it was to me initially), that's where they were. As I learned, the two are old school friends - Sebastian, a programmer - as such very into & up to date on digital media - married to an American woman, living in Chicago. And Paule, an artist - whose work I'm hoping to see someday, as the concept is of great interest to me, and one I couldn't possibly articulate here - lives in Germany with this girlfriend & expecting a baby soon. 

After coffee and a connection, they were off to see the elephants... and I invited myself to join along. I'd been threatening to "see the elephants" since I'd gotten to Thailand & this was my big opportunity... Once again, the company was better than the actual "activity." Having said that, although there were only a few elephants, and we all chose to not go for the elephant ride, they are pretty amazing looking animals - and the scenery/surroundings were quite spectacular. We checked out the waterfall, had a beer and a nice conversation - which continued when we met up for drinks later in the evening. Smart guys, both very liberal (as we all agreed most travelers were), very interesting, thoughtful perspectives on people, the world, politics. They were 14 when the Berlin wall fell and here we were sitting in one of the last few remaining Communist countries...  led to thought provoking conversations. All in all, great guys, both of them. Really enjoyed my time with them...

Probably one of the best things about travel... waking up and not knowing who you'll meet or what you'll be doing - but going to sleep having met new people, new friends, with new things to think about as your head hits the pillow....

Crazy Lady

I just met the most infuriating woman and need to vent. 

On the way back from my trip to the waterfall, our group was taken to a poor village - not so disimilar from the one I unfortunately found myself in while in Thailand. This one somehow wasn't as bad. Maybe because I knew what to expect and was prepared or maybe because the people here in Laos are so genuinely friendly and welcoming that they didn't seem as bothered by our group of eight walking through their little village. Actually, all of us were surprised by the stop, as we didn't know it was "included" in our waterfall trip. And truthfully, I didn't have to get out of the van - but I did. Curiosity? Not sure... But I didn't go far before I turned right around. The village felt/looked poorer, in every way. Kids literally naked, filthy - but selling their wares with big smiles, and genuine "sabadees" (hello.)  One girl, maybe 10 (although I've found out since the age thing is virtually impossible to figure out here) broke my heart. I can still see her face. Although I still have no idea how the 'money exchange' works between these towns and the tour operators, there was no way I couldn't buy something.. I bought a few little purses from her for my nieces.

The group I was with were a combination of Americans and Canadians - all here to teach English for the next two weeks. Conversations with new people naturally and always starts with travel and this one ended with conversation about volunteering. The combination of the interaction with the little girl and the conversation with this group led me to my decision to stay around here. (I'd already figured out that traveling around Laos was quite an adventure and not one I was sure I wanted to do solo.) As i wrote before, this town just has a great, mellow vibe and I feel very comfortable here, drawn to staying around. I continually meet great people who keep me entertained and interested, I can go on afternoon activities "out of town," and thought i'd spend some time doing some "good deeds

And so the next day I went to meet this Australian woman that these teachers were very impressed by - and thought I might be too. She runs a restaurant, a cooking school and a book exchange. But she is also associated with the government run orphanage here. Not only was I not impressed by her, I was appalled, offended - and outraged. You know how "they" say people's dogs are supposed to be a reflection of themselves? Well, I actually agree to a degree - and should have taken that as a sign from the beginning. On the gate, before you enter, there is a sign that says to ignore the barking dog as he's somewhat harmless, but also says not to pet him either. 

As she's got a few 'businesses' going on, when I entered she asked if I was interested in the cooking school or the book exchange - I told her the book exchange. I looked around, introduced myself, etc.. then asked what, if anything, I might be able to do useful while I was here for the week, even though the sign outside did clearly indicate that the orphanage didn't take any volunteers. She went on a long rant giving me a litany of reasons; the girls there are from the sex trade, that there's rampant pedophilia in the country, that they feel uncomfortable with western women, that they don't speak english so volunteers are more burdomesome than helpful, that the Lao government doesn't allow volunteers...  I couldn't figure out exactly how they all were connected, but the bottomline was clear - they don't want volunteers. Got it.

I talked briefly about what brought me there, how I had been appalled by the fairly rampant "voyeurism tourism" I'd seen, and then got another earful. Certainly, initially, I was very interested in hearing her thoughts, impressions, opinions. And then, not. I understand that people come in there everyday - many times a day - asking the same questions, so some frustrations might have been built up. But her anger - and point of view - was outrageous and verwhelming. To her, if you live in the west, you are all part of the collective evil. Westerners are greedy, selfish people who only do "good deeds" to feel good about themselves. That their help is no help at all. (I never did get what was "good help.") She doesn't even slightly differentiate between the people who complain of being ripped off because the tour operators didn't give them more for their money, as in providing more interaction with the "poor village people" vs. people who specifically come to a country to do volunteer work, painting or building a school vs. people who give a big fat check.  At first I let her rant and then I couldn't help myself... 

I countered that in her line of thinking, lumping all people in one society together, with only one view and motivation, implied that if you lived in America during the George Bush years, that you then must agree with all his policies. That's when she went on her activism rant. That she didn't see anyone protesting against Bush - or even now against some of the trade policies that she believes directly hurt underdeveloped nations, like Laos. Again, I kindly tried to balance her views with conversation, but she wanted no conversation, no dissent.  I attempted to bring it down to a smaller, more intimate, personal scale, to articulate that individual people do as they can - that yes there were some "bad" people out there, like the ones she described wanting more from their "poor villagers" but that there were also people with good intentions, different motiviations, and ones who affected change with those good deeds. I even tried to balance her anger by agreeing that sometimes good intentions can and do backfire on both individual levels, as well as with (non-profit) organizations. But that again, people are individuals with different motivitations and abilities - some people can give money, others can give time, others love. At this point, she was off the chart and I took it personally and told her so. (Admittedly, I exaggerated my volunteer and activism efforts - which are actually zero - to make a point.) Essentially she was scoring me, deriding the fact that I'd have the audacity to walk in there suggesting I could "help" when in her mind, there was no way that was remotely possible.

In all the time I let her go on - and it was a while, long enough that I wondered if we could sit instead of standing for this conversation - did she once speak of the kindness of others, 'good' travelers who came into her shop hoping to do good, organizations that were helpful as oppossed to harmful. To her, they were all incompetent. She scorns at people who come to help paint a school for a week. She derides people who write checks to organizations. She scowls at people who just come into buy a book - from her store!. The most unfriendly, unkind person in a town of THE most friendliest, happiest, easy going people I've ever encountered. I've been gone from New York now for over 2 months and I can't even think of one moment in all that time when I felt angry. And she got me so worked up, to the point that I couldn't even speak. Needless to say I didn't leave there on friendly terms. 

After I wrote the above (and before I found an internet connection working long enough to post this), I ran into one of the teachers trom the group. She was with another teacher, one I hadn't met. When I told them about this women (I SO needed to vent), the new woman said, 'Yeah, I've heard about this woman. She has a barking dog, right? Everyone says to avoid her - She's supposed to be nuts.' I figured that one out all on my own, and by then my anger had disappated - slightly. But was still good to get the confirmation. (I'm still seething.)

Impressions from Luang Prabang

No one know how to pronounce the name of this city correctly.. so here you go. 

Stunning, natural beauty. River, mountains, clouds.  

Lovely mix of colonial architecture. 

Genuinely friendly, friendly, people. Lovely, really. 

Food's just ok - a bit bland, generally. Not anywhere near as good as Thai cuisine. 

Expensive - but let's put this in perspective... expensive relative to Malaysia, Thailand and the rest of Laos (as I've been told.) Otherwise, still pretty damn cheap.

The restaurant service is quite quick and efficient when you first walk into a place. After that, not so much. The upsell (or follow through) concept hasn't really been adopted here. 

They only have small napkins here too. Must be an Asian thing..  On the tables of cafes and small restaurants (everywhere I've been since I entered Singapore) they offer a box of napkins - but they are literally quarter the size of standard napkins. I can't figure it out. 

Bicycles are the way to go here. Locals prefer the motor bikes - and they're everywhere. 

You can "Wat" to your hearts content. There are temples everywhere here - big ones, small ones, tourist focal points and those hidden and remote.

It's not necessarily hot - but it is incredibly sweaty. 

Just because your wifi connection says "excellent" signal strength, doesn't necessarily mean anything at all. 

Rains come and go. Some days, none at all or a light sprinkle here and there. Others, out of no where, a serious downpour. Usually feels great - except when you've just showered, changed into clean clothes and are riding on your bicycle (like tonight!)

The main "strip" is very overcrowded with tour companies, each one selling the same package. It is the only somewhat "tacky" part of the town and a terrible shame, as I fear what this will look like in 5 years time. (Supposedly very different than what it looked like 5 years past.) 

Although they may be a bit annoying, these tour companies do offer tons of options near and far from here - anything from 1/2 day to 3 day trips to treks/kayak/elephant shows... or waterfalls

The town seems to fill back up in the evening, when everyone comes back from the day's activity. 

Lots of tourists - and they're from everywhere: Holland, France, Germany, Australia, Canada, Spain, America. (Those are just the ones I've met in the last few days.)  General tourist population makeup: some families with older kids (at least 10 yrs. old), some couples in their 50's-60's, but mostly, the young backpacker crowd. Which is understandable, as traveling around Laos is much "rougher" than any of these travel books seems to spell out. Long bus rides, no highways, lean and mean accomodations. Not for the privledged set. (Or necessarily solo travel... )  There's a reason that most of these kids do the Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng to Vientiane travel route.. it's a paved clear cut path. (Not to mention the tubing party scene in Vang Vieng.) 

I've met a lot of really great people here. My first night I was seated at a table with a couple of French boys - one of them actually lives in New York, upper west side, grad school Columbia. (A New Yorker - a first find for me!) Continued onto drinks with them that night and then met up again the next. Very bright, well read & educated, intelligent, driven guys - and Jewish - which led to interesting conversations. (Never knew the Parisian Jews went to summer camp too! Live and learn.).....  Yesterday went on a trip to the waterfalls and met a diverse group of 4 - digital media grad student, ex-DC lobbyist, teacher - that are here teaching English for 2 weeks, we all continued onto dinner when we got back to town.....  This morning over breakfast at a cafe, met two guys from Germany - one a programmer who now lives in Chicago with his wife and the other a painter/installation artists. (Lots of info and confirmations about Laos travel from them.)......  This evening, while reading at dinner, I met a great family from Amsterdam - he approached me, as he was interested in checking out the Kindle. (I have met more people while reading that thing!)... He's a film director, she's a producer - two cute kids, incredibly well behaved. Really bright, interesting, both of them - wish we could have chatted longer, but the kids were bed ready.  The list actually goes on, but those are the highlights... not counting the people I've met who live here. Although those conversations, mostly because of language barriers, not as robust, but almost always as enlightening.

The people here are generally uneducated, unworldly and incredibly poor, but longing for a connection, information and news from afar. One very sweet and friendly 22 year old who seems to manage the hotel I'm at, speaks very good English, is in university here in town and engages me everyday in long conversations, with questions about America, media, the internet (and my family - very big deal here). He had never heard of Michael Jackson (or Facebook), but does know Obama..  (When I showed him pictures of Jackson online, his first question, "Why does he have so many faces?")...  They seem to have warm feelings for America & are past the bitter feelings of the American War (the Vietnam War to us.) Tonight, another boy (18) who works in the hotel, incredibly shy and soft spoken, but who came up to talk to me, tells me in broken English he was a monk for 6 years, but wants to learn and travel so he left and is now going to university starting next month. When I ask where he wants to travel, he says Vientienne. (Five minutes down the road, 25 tour companies offer buses and planes there daily.) I think they like to engage in conversation so they can practice their English, but are just as much interested in meeting westerners who give them a window onto the world outside theirs. They long for modernization and believe it is a long way away. 

... And they may be right. On Sunday I woke up at 6am to the sound of my a/c and fan clicking off, with faint recollections swirling around my head of someone telling me the night before that the elecricity would be cut off in town for 12 hours the next day. (Fixing the grid?) No one seemed all that bothered - even the tourists. 

There is a magical quality to this place... a combination of setting, people, culture, history... and I can't seem to leave here. Or make a plan as to when to leave. Everyday I get up and think I'll figure it out tomorrow. It is definitely a small town with not much to do, but I seem to do nothing very well here. 

Luang Prabang

Magical...  I think I've been looking for this place.