I stopped blogging on April 1st. It wasn't particularly a special day - other than it being April Fool's Day. And I only know the date because the last post's time stamp is clearly marked. But that was the day I last wrote - on the topic of the then soon-to-be released iPad - and the show Modern Family. Two loves - technology and television - wrapped into one.
It's now nearing the end of June. The iPad has sold more than 2 millions units to date and Modern Family is on summer hiatus. But the world still spins madly on. Even when I wasn't writing, my world did too. Funny how that goes...
So, what was I actually doing, if not - gasp! - writing about it? How important could any of it have been if I didn't find the need to share? A tree falls in the forest thing, and all... I jest, of course - somewhat. Laying ones soul to bare in the ether, although now commonplace, is still odd for many. And sometimes laughable. Even for me, who gets it, appreciates it, and mostly even enjoys it.
When I started this blog I didn't do it for anyone else but me. I imagine that's the case for most, but what I mean is that I didn't have a particularly focused goal. I wasn't trying to plant a flag or make a mark in my professional career, start a dialogue or develop a community around any of the topics I wrote about, or to create my own worthy googleable digital footprint. All worthwhile and noble goals - and much the idea behind social media. They just weren't mine.
I started this blog because I wanted to write. I had been actively writing about some very personal topics for a while, purely for myself. But it became too intimate - mostly too difficult and painful - and I just stopped, not unlike I did April 1st. But I knew I liked the practice of writing, the challenge of collecting thoughts and putting them together cohesively - not so easy sometimes. So I decided I wanted to 'practice' with topics easier on the soul. Blogging and sharing became the chosen platform, and so, Music, Media & Other Random Musings was born. It was focused enough on what I like, enjoy, do, think and talk about. But not committed to any one thing - like Digital, the media of current choice and (professional) focus for the last 10 years. I've always really been, at heart, more a generalist than anything else, so it felt right...
But then came this hiatus. I've had mini-lapses over the years, but not for a stretch of time this long. I stopped, I think, because I just couldn't get the words out. Laryngitis? Letharthy? Take your pick. Maybe a bit of both. I was between work (staff jobs to be more specific) longer than I had wanted. And anyone who has been out of the work force for a while knows that the feeling of being left out or excluded is fairly common. (A topic deserving of a longer, separate post.) All I can explain is that the sense of feeling unwelcome, didn't inspire much in the way of contribution on my end.
Now, that I'm back to the office, 'officially' a working member of society and feeling engaged - and included, I felt it was time to get back on the proverbial horse and put the fingers to the keyboard. But then paused. What do I want to write about? Do I want to plot out a new set of goals for what this is, what I want it to be? Do I change the name? The look? The design? What is my focus? Should it be as random as it has been for the last, almost 3 years?
And because it's me - and just part of my DNA - I kept asking those questions. I knew I needed some answers before I could find my voice again. My friend Jerry urged me to stop asking all the questions and to just start, start writing. He was right, of course. But also, much easier said than done. And as he is rightly an official member of the heady tribe, knew this to be true, even as he provided his sage advice.
In the end, what I realized is that I needed to figure out the context before the content would flow. Where my voice had went was impossible to figure out. But to figure out where it would go, I needed to wrap my head around why I was doing this, starting this again, and what I wanted to focus on.
And the answer: I've determined that this blog is, was and will still be, just for me. Writing it, keeping it current, posting music, pictures or thoughts - are for no purpose, other than to amuse and stimulate myself. Although I absolutely welcome comments, dialogue & sharing - it's getting out my own thoughts - as relevant, irrelevant, stupid or insightful as they may be, day after day, that matters to me - in the context of this blog. Do I think that this blog - or this particular post for that matter - is of any interest at all to anyone other than me? Probably not. Maybe, possibly, a few others? But not much beyond that. And I'm okay with that. If it starts me writing about the shit I like to think about, or most importantly, just gets me to start writing - period - then therein lies the goal. Will this thing, this blog, turn into something else as I venture into new business opportunities in the very near future? Possibly. I can't say it isn't something I don't think about... And if it makes sense, and I'm so inclined, the evolution will happen.
So for now, starting again - 'til who knows when - with a semi-updated, cleaner look, under the same name and title as before, I'll be writing about the random shit that amuses, intrigues and outrages... me.
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